August 27,28 Update. Carrick is home!

Yesterday, Carrick finally left the hospital. After 125 days of life, he saw his home for the first time. Will and I would have written last night about his first day home, but our computer is messing up again. That machine's timing is just uncanny. So right now I'm on a laptop Will brought home from work. On to more exciting things- our son has been home for a whole twenty-four hours now and he's still doing really well. He's in his play pen in the living room right now. He's actually here! It feels a little strange to actually have him home when I was so used to waiting for him to get here. So, for the story. He was supposed to come home last Friday, but he didn't. He was scheduled to go home on Tuesday, but he didn't. Wednesday, he finally made it. Will and I arrived at the hospital at 8:30 in the morning. The doctor examined him and completed massive amounts of paperwork, as did his nurse, and said he was free to go. After about two and a half hours, and a considerable length of time negotiating where his monitors would go, they wheeled me out with Carrick in my arms. He fell asleep right as we made it out the doors. It took a long time to get everything in the car (we had to buckle in his equipment). Will did an excellent job driving us four miles home. Once we made it upstairs and put his car seat down, I remember thinking, "Ok, what do we do now?" He spent the rest of the afternoon being visited by friends who had to wait four months to see him. He slept hard through all their visiting so that he could stay up all night and start crying every time I was just about to drift off to sleep. It's wonderful and strange finally having him home. It's so relieving to just be able to walk across the room when I want to see him instead of go to the hospital and check in. But then I also just realized that for the next twenty years or so, my time is no longer my own. Also, dealing with the wires that are connected to him should be routine by now. It's not, it's just a new kind of annoying. It is just more proof that even though he is home, he is still far from being a normal baby. We can't just pick him up and walk around with him. But he is all ours. He's not mostly the nurse's and then ours- he's all ours. That is a great feeling. He made it through the night, although I think it will be an adjustment for him to sleep on a flat surface, in the mostly-dark, much more quiet atmosphere. He had his first pediatrician visit this morning. The doctor thinks he looks great for a 24 weeker. He did tell us that for at least the next six weeks, probably longer, he can't go to church, the mall, the store, no "uncontained" spaces. And he can't travel. This is sad for Will and me. We were hoping that somehow we could take him to visit our families but that can't happen until he gets past RSV season. RSV is potentially life threatening respiratory bug. Carrick was born so early that his risk for catching it is very high. He will get vaccines for it starting in October. So we may be stuck here for another holiday season. The doctor also said Carrick is capable of having the sleeping pattern of a four month old, not a newborn. So we have been instructed to keep him awake as much as possible during the day, so he can work on sleeping through the night. Wish us luck. I had planned to write this blog with details of all the emotions and motherly romantic thoughts about finally having our son home, but I really can't think of any except profound senses of peace and relief. Mostly, I just feel at peace. And I also need a nap.