May 7, Update 1

This one is from Jenni. Last night during our visit we got one of the nurses to shed some light on the issue with Carrick's lungs. It doesn't appear that he ever had cysts in them, that was just the wording the doctor used to describe what was going on in a way she thought we could understand. He actually has something called PIE (pulmonary interstitial emphysema). It sounds serious because it kind of is. It's one of the many trade-offs of needing a ventilator. His lungs are still too immature for him to breathe without help and that's where the breathing tube comes in. Without it he would die. But, also because his lungs are so immature it's easy for them to be damaged by the machine. He has small tears and air sacs that oxygen has leaked into and cannot be exhaled. Some babies get this on only one side or in just one part of their lungs. He has it all over. We saw the x-ray last night and it shows up as a very light mist all over his lungs. The only thing that will fix it is for his lungs to grow and push that air back into his airways and out. This is one of the reasons the doctors want him off the ventilator as soon as possible. The longer he is on it and the higher his oxygen needs remain, the more difficult it will be to get him off the ventilator, mostly due to scarring or other damage. It also increases the chance of his having chronic respiratory issues. And last night he was requiring about 62% oxygen which is a fairly high setting. The doctors expect this stuff to happen because he is so young but it is still difficult and the only things that will really fix anything are time and growth. Both of which take a long time to anxious parents! Also, they are taking another ultrasound of his brain some time today to check on his bleeding. We have been praying hard that it would begin healing. In a few days one of the doctors will be able to tell us. Having a premature baby is like being thrown into this club that nobody wants to be in. It's really hard. Carrick was born at 24 weeks which is what the doctors call the "edge of viability" meaning any earlier and his chances would be almost non-existent. It's hard to watch him struggle through so much and be so small and not be able to do a thing about it. It's hard to leave the hospital every day without feeling guilty that I can't fix anything. I can't even hold him right now. The babies in the pods (that's what they're called) around him have all gone home and new babies have moved in. They are not quite as premature and their mothers can already hold and feed them. Last night we were literally surrounded by mothers holding their babies while we stared at our son in a box. We got to touch him though. Please keep praying for us. I am constantly aware that none of this is beyond God's ability to heal. As Will says- more to come.