This one is from Jenni again- being that it's Mother's Day and all. People have been asking me how it feels to be a mom. My honest reply would be, "how am I supposed to know?" I'm not sure what people really mean when they talk about feeling like a mother. I have a son, but other than visiting him at the hospital and talking to him so he knows I'm there, I don't do much. Most of the job is done by nurses and doctors. I don't feed him, the nurses do. I don't make sure he's warm and comfortable, the nurses do. I don't make sure he's healthy and safe, the nurses and doctors do. If he's upset about something it's the nurses who take care of it. I don't mean to undermine our role as parents in his growth and recovery; I know how important it is to let Carrick know that we are there. And I don't feel jealous of the nurses in any way. I'm really grateful they are taking such good care of him. But it is incredibly difficult not to be able to do regular "mother" things. I can't express how painful it is. It's not without it's joys, though, however bittersweet. Every time he moves or opens his eyes it is the biggest deal to me and Will. Today there was a mother's day card taped to his box. Carrick's little hand print was on the front in between some flowers someone drew! It was so small! It's his first mother's day card! Today, the doctor said the infection in his blood is practically gone and he never even showed any physical signs he was infected which is good. His blood pressure has still been up and down because the PDA vessel opened back up. The echo showed that it only opened up a tiny bit so the cardiologist doesn't think he will need any medicine. It should close again on its own without any intervention. This is also good. He's still on about 50% oxygen, but that level has been up and down as well. Mostly down. The doctor did say that he seemed to be showing signs of disliking the oscillating ventilator which means he may be saying it's time to move back to the regular one. Still more good news. If he's actually telling the doctors it's time to move forward, that is a huge deal. His lungs are still the same but we expect it to be awhile before it heals. Most of what the doctors are doing is not necessarily to "fix" him but to buy him more time to grow and mature. Only he can do that. The doctors can't do it for him. Will and I really are thankful and amazed at how many people tell us they are praying for him and having entire churches pray for him. I can't explain what that means to me. By the way, Carrick did get his mom a great mother's day present! A beautiful heart necklace with diamonds! Already he has good taste.